Sunday, July 31, 2011

63 people?

Post # 122
I just saw on the counter thingy that 63 people have read my blog today.  Please leave a comment! Tell me who you are, what your blog address is, where you live, how did you find my blog or just anything.  Will make me feel like I am not just rambling on "talking" to myself here.  I don't get out of the house much (see post # 120) so having a friend say hi in a comment would be so nice. Thanks for stopping by.

We used to be famous for the Caddilac Ranch

Post # 121
Oh Amarillo!  We used to be famous for
  • the beautiful, awesome Palo Duro Canyon
  • millionaire, philanthropist and prankster Stanley Marsh 3 and his Caddilac Ranch
  • The Big Texan Steak House
  • hometown of golfer Ryan Palmer, dancer Cyd Charrise, Carolyn Jones (Morticia on the Addams Family). astronauts Rick Husband and Paul Lockhart, oil man and philanthropist T. Boone Pickens, Teel Bivins U.S. Ambassador to Sweden, Olympic gold medal winner Brandon Slay, Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist Ben Sargent
  • current home of authors Jodi Thomas, D. R. Meredith and National Book Award winner Kimberly Willis Holt  
But then the summer of 2011 came....
 First this summer we had this mascot for our baseball team.......

Amarillo Sox’s Mascot Too Stiff on First Appearance

and now we have traffic signals that show a hand doing the one finger wave........
Equipment age to blame for mixed traffic signals Amarillo Globe-News

and we have broken all records as being the hottest and driest year since Amarillo started keeping records in the 1800's.  I saw a sign recently.  It said "Satan called.  He wants his weather back."

Saturday, July 30, 2011

A, my name is Agoraphobia Post #120

I have been under the care of a psychiatrist for 14 years and should have been all my life.  Anxiety, panic attacks, major depressive disorder, bipolar are things attached to my name, and justly so. My Dr said so.    Well, here is another one and I think it should go to the head of the list.  This one I have diagnosed myself... who better knows me than me ...  unless in my memory lapses or hearing failure I have forgotten my Dr telling me that I have this too.  Between his accent, Vietnamese I think, and my dog eating my hearing aides I don't understand a whole let he says to me so who knows what he has told me.   I also see a therapist who I understand perfectly and we have discussed almost every single one of these symptoms but if she has labeled me agoraphobic I don't remember her telling me this is what all those things point to.  (note to D' may have told me and I just didn't hear it----mentally or physically...sometimes when we are talking about my problems I get too stressed and my brain shuts down.  You seem to sense when that occurs though) Anyway, I think if you look agoraphobia up in the dictionary my picture should be there as the poster child. 
I just discovered a website .......  clicked mental health, saw the drop down list, read the text below and said to myself well this is just a perfect description of me. 
Symptoms of Agoraphobia:
1) Frequent panic attacks – a period of intense fear that lasts ten minutes in which four of the following symptoms occur:

•Rapid Heart Rate   yes
•Sweating   yes
•Shaking or trembling  yes
•Fear of dying  yes
•Nausea or diarrhea  yes
•Feeling short of breath  yes
•Feeling of choking or smothering yes
•Feeling dizzy, light-headed or faint.  yes
•Feelings of unreality or detachment   i don't think so
•Chills or hot flashes  yes
•Numbness or tingles  yes
•Fear of losing control  way yes
•Fear of going crazy  too late, that train has already left the station

2) Avoidance Behavior – heck yes those with agoraphobia avoid places or situations in which making a quick exit due to panic attacks would be embarrassing or those in which no one would be around to help if they had a panic attack. Those with agoraphobia avoid going places unless it’s with a “safe” person or a “safe” place. definitely me
Common situations avoided are:
•Driving a car     yes
•Being outside  no
•Being away from home   yes
•Sitting in the middle row at a theatre or stadium  yes and if I am in a restaurant I want to sit in a corner my back against the wall so no one can come up behind me
•Using public transportation  i'm sure it would be yes if I were in that situation
•Crossing a bridge  i was simply terrified of bridges for prob 45 yrs
•Taking an elevator only if someone else is in it unless it is one of my "safe" people
•Standing in lines  yes

3) Fear of Being Alone And Scanning –NO not afraid of being alone as long as I have my dogs...uh oh, I guess they come under "safe people".  Thanks to the physical sensations of panic attacks, some agoraphobics engage in obsessive scanning, or the constant monitoring of their own bodies for any unusual symptoms. Agoraphobics are often afraid to be alone, even in a safe place, because they’re afraid no one will be around to help them.
4) Safe People and Safe Placesdefinitely big time for both and i fear losing my safe people and places, because I have lost some of them  to cope with the fear, agoraphobics establish safe people and places.
A safe person is someone with whom the agoraphobic feels emotionally close. Safe people are generally parents, children, close friends, relatives and spouses. While a safe person is around, agoraphobics can travel farther from home and enter feared places and situations.

A safe place is a place in which an agoraphobic feels psychologically comfortable and is generally their home. A safe place can also be the homes of safe people, therapists offices, and other established places. Some agoraphobics can feel safe many places whereas others may be confined to their beds.
Does anyone else out there have this? How do you cope?


Post # 119
My mom made quilts.  She stitched them by hand and quilted them by hand.  I wish I knew how many hours she spent just on this quilt alone.  She didn't have a big quilting loom but an oval lap size thing.....sort of like a big embroidery hoop (does anyone under 50 even know what that is?).  In my mind I can still hear the sound of her scissors cutting the fabric on a 50's dinette set.  Since I have lost a good bit of my hearing ability I realize I would not hear that sound now.  I wonder why that sound has stayed in my mind so vividly.  I can remember the pricks on her fingertip from inserting that needle what had to be a million times.  Her thumb and fingertip were paved with pricks. This is one of the very few---if not the only quilt---for which she purchased the fabric.  When I was growing up we had no blankets in our house except for a scratchy, ugly, stinky-even-when-washed, army regulation OD (olive drab) green wool army blanket of my father's brought home from World War II.  However we did have plenty of quilts made with scraps of our clothing. When my girls were little we used to wrap up in one of several quilts my mom made for me and i would tell them about the different patches of fabric, what article of clothing it originally was.  My mom also made just about every item of clothing I wore even after I married and was a working girl and my daughter's clothes when they were little.  One of the regrets in life that I have is I doubt I told her enough how much I loved this quilt, how proud I was of the clothes she made for me, how amazed I was that she could take a skein of yarn or thread and crochet it into something.  No, I don't doubt, I know I did not tell her enough.  What a different perspective I have from 57 and 17 about the hours she spent making my clothes.  I did not appreciate them nearly as much as I should have.  She passed away almost 19 years ago.  Could that possibly be right? 19 years ago?  She had the most hard life of anyone I know.  She lived through way too many really horrible things.  Things her grandchildren do not know and can't even imagine but that is another story for another day, maybe.  She had very few luxuries in her life and really not many pretty things but she could make the most beautiful quilts.  She didn't like to read----we did not understand each other since I read almost every waking minute---but seldom did she sit doing nothing.  She was sewing, quilting, crocheting.  In fact, this quilt is 24 years old.  24 years old? How could that be when my spirit often feels 24 years old, although my body definitely doesn't!  I think this quilt is blessed in some way because it has been wet on and thrown up on by my children and grandchildren, everything on earth spilt on it, when it was not on my bed it was on my couch warming my kids and me as we cuddled and read books or watched movies like the Wizard of Oz and somehow still the colors are vibrant.  I noticed this week that this quilt is still in perfect condition even though I used it on my bed for most of those years and then I put it away because I was afraid I would wear it out.  A couple of years ago I had a spiritual prompting that it really belongs to Brent so I gave it to my son. I hated to part with it but I know a prompting when I get one.  He was just an infant when she started making this quilt and two  years old when she finished it.  I am glad to know that he does not keep it packed away as I did for years but must use it as it is often in their living room.  What a shame it would be if it were still packed away, fabric rotting and not enjoyed.  It has been washed a gazillion times and the cotton fabric is as soft as a fluffy dandelion.  Taylor obviously loves the colors because she tries to pick up the diamond shaped pieces.  My grandsons did the same thing when they were her age.  I wish I could clone this quilt so each of my 4 children, my 3 grandchildren, my sister and my nieces and their children could each have one because it is so beautiful.  I love this photo because my only granddaughter is so beautiful too and I think my mom is looking down on her, loving her very much and loving that she can play on this quilt.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Response is Required By Law

Post #118

In yesterday's post I mentioned that I received a letter stating I was going to receive a form to fill out & mail back.  Well, it came today, all 28 pages.  I am just wondering though, did they really think they needed to send me a letter in addition to it stately very clearly on this envelope that response is required by law? I wonder how many millions of those letters went out and at what cost.  While I was pondering this waste of tax dollars Taylor was pondering
how I tied my shoe and

what exactly is this thing?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I don't think they understand budgeting

I am not a politician, not married to a politician, don't want to hang out with any politicians, definitely do not understand politicians but I think I am going to write to one.  Today I got a letter from the government.  Basically it said the census people have selected my address for a random survey.  I should receive it shortly. Please fill it out and mail it back.  Really? Why was it necessary for a government employee to print this letter, on government letterhead, mail at government expense, to tell me I will be getting a form in the mail and to fill it out. This is at least the third time I have received this same kind of letter announcing I will be receiving another letter from a government agency. I think we could make some major cuts right there.  Next, Mars. Do we really need to go to Mars?  We cannot take care of the people on this planet yet we spend billions planning to go to Mars. Really?  I could go on and on but it is way past my bedtime

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Eight months old!

Post # 116
Today was my first day to babysit Taylor in the mornings and she is 8 months old today.  We had a perfect morning.  When she first woke up Taylor let me cuddle and rock.  We read 5 books...she sat real still in my lap while I read them.
and then she 'read' them
and tasted them by herself.

we played toys alot

We took a short walk outside and a long walk inside the house because it was 102 degrees outside today
and Taylor took 2 - 40 minute naps between 7:30 a.m. and noon when Aunt Casey came to take over.   Grandma, who is no longer use to getting up at 6 a.m. came home and took a long nap too!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Multiple Blessings!

Tomorrow Taylor will be 8 months old!  She is such a precious angel!  My son and daughter-in-law have made me very proud of them because of the  parents they have become.  My grandsons are happy and the best boys I've seen since my own two sons were their age.  Today it RAINED...yes, rained in the Texas panhandle!  At my house I received a quarter of an inch!  I can change that 1.52 to 1.77 for the year.  Hey, we may hit 2 inches by the end of summer.  We had a lot of thunder before the rain started and I kid you not, my girl dogs went balistic!  I realized they are barely two years old.....they don't remember thunder!  Max, my white schnauzer just looked at them like "Really? it won't 'get' you." One of the sweetest friends I have had and not heard from in forever sent me an email today. My moss rose was blooming like crazy this morning and made me smile. My younger son sent me an email and texted me a bunch of was good to hear from him. And best of all, tomorrow I get to start babysitting my granddaughter 4 days a week! I went over to see her today.  My daughter-in-law, Kali, Taylor and I were in the floor and I was talking to Taylor...who gave me one of those looks, then turned to her Momma and told her something, quite a bit of something, in her little baby yell voice (she can be a loud little baby!). It was too funny! Obviously she was saying "Momma, this is that woman who comes over in the afternoon while Aunt Casey is taking care of me and she takes my picture and then tries to rock me to sleep when I may be rubbing my baby eyes but I do NOT want to go to sleep!"


Sunday, July 24, 2011

Throw in the Trowel?

I was thinking about just pulling up the garden, putting the plants in the compost barrel, and quit pouring water on them.  Water from the hose is just not the same as water from the sky.  I have only harvested a few yellow squash, about 5 cherry tomatoes every day or two, and since we have been asked to only water 2 or 3 days a week everything is wilted.  And the 100 degree weather, I am suprised I have any plants still alive. 

Zuchinni plants looking pretty sad
   <--24 hours ago the eggplants looked like this.  I watered them and they perked right up but I just went out and they look like this again
But wait.....
my corn is short but after I watered it last night it perked right up and  looks fairly good.  It has these tassels or something growing.... not sure what that means.

A baby watermelon.  This pic is almost lifesize.  I have no idea how long it takes to get from this size to harvesting size.  I have never grown corn or watermelons before.
this is a tiny watermelon that somehow is growing in a bucket of squash

Travis' row of canteloupe have lots of blooms....but again, it is almost August, I have no idea if canteloupes have enough time to grow before the first freeze.  Why, yes, it is almost a 100 degrees today and I am worrying about the first freeze??? Why do yo ask?   The thing is, the 10 day forecast has us only with a 10% chance of rain on a couple of days.  I can not even remember when it last rained.  Is it worth it to keep watering with city water at about $75 a month? Actually only about $35 of water is going on the yard and garden but I'm not getting a $1 worth of veggies a day.  Very discouraging.  I was hoping I would be eating alot of veggies out of this garden.  I pictured a plate of homegrown black eyed peas, sliced tomatoes, slices of canteloupe, corn on the cob, fried zuchinni. I should have saved my money instead of putting it in this garden. Sigh.  I could just cry.  After years of living in an apartment when I bought this house I was so in hopes that I could grow a lot my own food.
A lot of my flowers look like this but my mandavilla is beautiful.  I hope to bring it inside and keep it alive over the winter.                 

Friday, July 22, 2011

8 random thoughts from my overheated brain post # 113

  1. Thurs. was day 27 of temperatures 100 or higher this summer and it is now officially the hottest summer in the Tx panhandle since records have been kept. The heat has made me cranky. lethargic. grateful for A/C. and hoping for an early fall.
  2. 4 lbs of ant killer did not kill the ants. None of them.
  3. My grandsons are not babies any more. Mason is going to inter- mediate school this year and Travis will be in his last year of elementary school. How did that happen? And why would Mason's school supply list include 70 pencils? 70? Really? 
  4. I have been craving that grilled corn guacamole pictured on - but I don't have a grill. I don't think corn on a George Foreman grill would be the same.
  5. My 3 dogs love me like only dogs can.  They are by my side constantly.  When I sit in my comfy chair Gracie is always, always snuggled down on my left.  Zoe often lays her head on the right arm of my chair, and Max prefers my lap, or if he is hot, he lays across the recliner's footrest (my feet just fit in wherever they can).  The girls' sleep with their heads on the pillow next to mine and Max sleeps at my feet, unless he is cold and then in the bend of my knees.  My grandson calls them my bodyguards because when I walk usually all 3 surround me.  If I don't let them go in the bathroom with me this is what I see:  
 Zoe's nose, Gracie's feet.  Max sits behind them waiting for me because he thinks the girls are silly to stick their paws and noses under the door. He's mature like that. 

6.  I could be wrong, but I believe my granddaughter is thinking "Really? You have that camera out again?"
 7.  My son is planning on going to the University of Washington next year.  Seattle's high Thurs was 68.  Thurs our high was over 100. I plan to visit him every July he lives there.
8.  It is 3 a.m. and I just checked ..... 20 people are reading my blog right now.  I don't believe that; I think the counter is suffering from the heat as well. Or, it is so hot no one can sleep. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Grandma and that camera post # 112

trying to get those top teeth in
Bunny is still Taylor's favorite toy

blowing raspberries at her bunny

Casey says I look a little like my Cabbage Patch baby

a kiss from grandma

That's All!


Monday, July 18, 2011

What was the title of that book? post 111

I LOVE these bookends. They are geodes. 
Trey saw them in a store and knew I would love'm.
I wish I had a list of every book I have ever would be a long one! Typically I read about 15 books a month but I could not tell you what I read last month, much less last year.  That is too bad because I read a lot of really great books that I would like to suggest you read.  I found the perfect site.. .  It is free unless you choose a different option, and it is basically your own personal library catalog.  You can make it whatever you want...list what you have read and rate them, what you want to read, read other "real people" reviews.  On librarything you can see lists of people who read the same book you did, then you can look at their catalog and find other titles you most likely would want to read. I have 3 pages on this blog of books I want to read and I have been rating them as I read them....just started that page last week or so not many ratings yet. I am going to continue adding to those pages because it is convenient for me (no more titles I want to read jotted down on bits of paper that I lose before I read the book) but I love the librarything idea to see what others with similar tastes are reading. Maybe you have to be a list maker to get excited over this site but I am the Queen of Listmakers so it is right up my alley.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Post # 110 Playing Dominoes with Grandma & Casey


having a good time

acting normal

   one of grandma's favorite things to do, hang out with these kids and play dominoes
I think he is winning

love you guys

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Some of my favorite things (other than people, animals and plants) part II

Libraries and Library books....because I could never afford to buy all the books I read and I seldom read anything twice so library books are just a wonderful gift to me.  I have had a library card for 51 years and very seldom I not have something checked out.

These are also my favorite bookends!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Run and giggle!

Post # 109
This is the coolest toy...the seat is actually a walker and Taylor can propel herself all the way around the toy 

I see my Daddy!

Blowing raspberries at Daddy

yelling at Daddy

Could you hear that, Grandma?

What did you say, Daddy?

You don't want me to yell at the top of my lungs?

How about if I wave and giggle?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My baby girl is 30!

Casey and her niece Taylor
Post # 108 

 Casey is 30 today.  What a gift from God she is to me. Thirty things I know about my daughter....
  1. She has been a sweet baby girl all her life.
  2. She is beautiful on the outside.
  3. She is even more beautiful on the inside.
  4. She does not have a mean bone in her body.
  5. She has the most gorgeous hair I have ever seen.
  6. She is the best Auntie Casey in the world to Mason, Travis and Taylor.
  7. She loves her dogs just as if they were her children.
  8. She has always been the peacemaker child in our family.
  9. God gave her the sweetest, most compassionate spirit He had.
  10. She has the ability to laugh at herself.
  11. She has very challenging, painful genetic problems but she smiles all the time anyway.
  12. She is successful because she gets up every time she gets knocked down and tries again.
  13. She loves to read almost as much as me.
  14. She loves her family fiercely.
  15. She is the best caregiver on the planet.  I would not have made it through the past year without her.
  16. She is very insightful about some things.
  17. She is very naive about other things but her heart is pure.
  18. She has more courage than most people I know.
  19. She treats everyone how she would want to be treated.
  20. She is honest and has integrity.
  21. She gives good hugs freely.
  22. She always speaks positively about people and things.
  23. She is not afraid to say "I'm sorry."
  24. She expresses appreciation to people for even simple things.
  25. She loves to play board games and doesn't mind playing with old people or young kids.
  26. One of her favorite things is new soft socks.
  27. She is rarely critical of any one.
  28. She is grateful for everything she has been blessed with.
  29. She likes to give, and likes to receive fresh flowers.
  30. Even after 30 years she is still extra good to her mother.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

My dogs' backpack

Post # 107
The news is on and I just heard that this time last year we had received almost 15 inches of rain for the year, right now we are still stuck at 1.52 inches BUT it is cloudy, it is lightning, it is possible that we are in for a storm!  Not definite, but possibly some rain.  Since it is often none or a humdinger of a storm I have my dogs' backpack ready. That is it up on the couch.  You know how you are suppose to have a 72 hr kit for members of your family? Well, what about your furry kids?  I keep one by the back door for the dogs. The black thing in this photo is a backpack I got at a garage sale.  The towel goes in it, a water bowl, some pkgs of dog food, a couple of toys and every leash and old collar we have.  If I had bottled water I would put one in there.  I have a small dog blanket that will fit in there and actually I don't put that green towel, I have a couple of old towels but they are the same oatmeal color as my couch so i didn't think they would show up in the pic. What else should I put in there? and no, it did not rain :(

Zoe is thinking "wait a minute, THAT is my long lost toy!"

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Taylor Has Teeth!

Two bottom teeth!

Post # 106  
I went to see Taylor this evening.  While I was there I got to feed her baby food squash.  She is a good eater and that squash made her smack her lips!  Casey went with me and we are pretty sure she said "hi!" She hadn't seen either of us in a week and we sure missed her while she was visiting her other grandma and grandpa.  
My grandma thinks I'm a sweetie!