Thursday, July 22, 2010

Fog may be clearing

Post # 59  I quit taking the two $50 copay drugs I mentioned awhile back and I seem to be doing better in some ways. I was able to read a book this week...Donna Andrews' book Stork Raving Mad (thoroughly enjoy this series)and I am going to get off the computer and start another cozy mystery Death Loves a Messy Desk. I am scared the anxiety might get worse or that I will fall in the depression hellhole but I have to be able to read books.

Brent will live to see another day

Post # 58  Yay! DS Brent brought my washer and dryer tonight. I would love to post a photo of them here if I could. I may move my blog to Shutterfly...I think you have to sign up if you want to view my things but signing up for shutterfly doesn't cost you anything and in fact they give new people something like 50 photos free for signing up. Back to the w/d...Now I just need to sell the old ones if you know anyone who needs them. $225 for the pair. Honestly they are good appliances, I just hate them because I bought them from my son's X-mother-in-law and it makes me sad every time I look at them ('cause Gail divorced my son). I bought a front load Energy Star stackable washer and dryer and they will be the last ones I ever buy, unless I live to be a 100 or something. Brent, Kali, Becky, Casey and I had a nice dinner and visit. The girls and I made salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, pea salad, homemade cream style corn,& Sister Scubert rolls. Those dinner rolls are so awesome I didn't care if it was 90 degrees outside...we had the oven on anyway. Cantelope and watermelon for dessert but we were too stuffed. Casey and I went to a Wal-mart yesterday and a different one today and I noticed the price of numerous things was higher at one than the other one. If you live where I live the one on Georgia is the cheaper one. For instance watermelons were $2 on Georgia and $3.88 at Tascosa Rd. Looked like the same watermelons to me, probably came from the same field. Once I was thumping watermelons like I would know what I was suppose to be hearing when the guy stocking cantelopes next to the watermelon bin said to me "they all came out of the same field"....I gather he had heard all the watermelon thumping he wanted to for one day. This dang keeps underlining cantelope to let me know I misspelled it but spell check is no longer an left when 'add photos' disappeared. Anyway, Casey and I found geraniums half price so I got 2 big pots of red ones to go in front of the fireplace. If you know me you know I have been selling jewelry for a couple of years. After mid-September I will no longer be selling jewelry. I received a new catalog from the company this week and it is the best catalog yet. I am sending in two more orders, August 15th and September 5th. If you want to order anything I will forego my profit and let you order at my cost. Very good deal if you want to do some early Christmas shopping. On a very sad note I hope Oprah's No Phone Zone becomes common. This weekend a woman a couple of years younger than me was struck and killed while riding her bike with a local cycling club. She had a husband and 16 yr old daughter who needed her. Her cycling club friends saw her die. The driver was a 24 yr old man who dropped his cell phone and took his eyes off the road to pick the cell phone up, veered out of his lane and accidentally slammed in to the lady on her bike. It is a tragedy all the way around. That poor man will have a long life ahead of him to remember seeing her in front of his truck when he looked up. It could happen to any of us who talks or texts while driving and I know too many people who do. So PLEASE don't.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

blundering with my blog

Post # 57            AArrgghhh! For some reason I can no longer post photos here. I hunted for another free blog and had trouble there. I created one on wordpress. That wasn't good. No colored text there. I need color, colors make me happy. I need to share pictures. I guess my blog is staying here until I find another free place that will let me do what I want to. I loved the old blog I had a couple of years ago and really really wish they had not gone out of business. Well, back to life. My new washer and dryer came in at Sears on the 15th. Delivery was $75 so my DS Brent insisted he would pick them up for me. INSISTED. They came in Thurs, he was going to pick them up after work on Friday. I forget why but that didn't happen. He was going to get them on Saturday. Didn't happen. Would get them Sunday afternoon for sure. Ya know what happened. nothing. Definitely Monday after work. Well, Monday night we all went out to eat together to celebrate (1) my washer & dryer, (2) Trey's saving Taco Villa from burning down (THAT is another story), (3)Becky's finding out she will have a job interview on Wed.....same company, just would be a very nice promotion, (4) Brent and Kali's baby...she is starting to have a baby bump and (5) Casey just because she is a very sweet DD who takes good care of me. After our meal we went to Sears and actually got the washer and dryer loaded on a trailer attached to Kali's jeep. Casey and I drove off for home assuming we would have appliances installed in just a few minutes. No. Brent calls and his friend in the next little town needs him to come pull him out of a ditch. It is 8 pm. My washer and dryer are on the trailer. Not in my utility room. Brent parks the jeep and the trailer in a locked fence area at the place where he works and he and Kali take off in his truck to go pull out his friend. Promises he will bring them to me Tuesday night, right after work. OK fine. It's not like I have to have them, and I know they are locked up (Casey drove by just to be sure) It is now Tuesday night. He doesn't show up by 6 pm so Casey texts her brother. They are going to eat and then be right over. I had offered earlier in the day to cook supper for them since he would be here installing my washer and dryer but no, that's ok, they will eat at home then be over. Now, I am a patient woman but at 8 pm tues night...I get a text, Mom would you be really mad.... i should have said yes, yes Brent I would...but I said fine BUT tomorrow night... (my therapist will not approve)
If i do not have my new washer and dryer in my utility room, hooked up and functioning by 7 pm tomorrow I will not need them because I will be in jail for beating my son with a wet noodle. or a Louisville slugger. Have you ever heard that Carrie Underwood song....maybe I will just go after his truck.

Monday, July 12, 2010

In my yard...

Post # 55      dang it. something happened and i no longer have the option to post photos. i updated my browser and it changed things. i was going to post pictures from my yard. if i can't get it fixed i will look into moving my blog to a different free blog site. if you ever read this and want the new address you will have to tell me. i can't tell who is reading this.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

cognitive impairment?

Post # 54      You know a few posts back I was wondering if I could do without the 2 prescriptions that are $50 each? You know how I have been saying I can't concentrate enough to read a book? Can't comprehend anything? Everyone knows my memory is non-existent. Well, I decided to see what I could find out about one of the $50 ones. This is from the list of side effects of one of my prescriptions, one for anxiety, from wikipedia...With long-term use of benzodiazepines it is unclear whether cognitive impairments fully return to normal after cessation of therapy; cognitive deficits persist for at least 6 months post-withdrawal, but it is possible that longer than 6 months is required for recovery of cognitive function. Lorazepam appears to have more profound adverse effects on memory than other benzodiazepines; lorazepam impairs both explicit memory and implicit memory. Benzodiazepines can cause or worsen depression. I don't need any help worsening my depression. Won't be refilling this one.


Post # 53       In my searching for ways to live more frugally I have discovered vinegar. The acid in vinegar kills bacteria.   Click on the link below to Reader's Digest list of 175 uses for vinegar.  The one i can hardly wait to try is spraying vinegar on your windshield when a frost is expected and your windshield will not freeze over.  A tablespoon in the dog water bowl is a natural deterent to fleas and ticks but don't try this for cats, they hate vinegar.  I now have $ store spray bottles filled with vinegar under every sink.  You can use it for a vegetable cleaner (vinegar kills bacteria, then rinse off with water), i use it for a cleaner for my sink, stovetop, fridge door, door handles, counters.  FLYlady suggests a swish and swipe method every day to keep your bathroom clean.  I spray the sink, faucet, mirror with vinegar, let it sit a minute then wipe down with a paper towel.  Spray the toilet seat & rim with vinegar then use that same paper towel to wipe it off, spray some vinegar in the bowl and swish with your toilet bowl brush and your bathroom is clean.  takes just a minute. I sprayed the kitchen window sill when i saw baby sugar ants and that got rid of them, sprayed vinegar on weeds and it killed them.

post # 52 why i don't have money...

because i spend it.  When i got my tax return i bought a Bissell steam mop (rated #1 by comsumer reports for budget steam cleaners)  It was something like $60 on sale at Target.  I have wanted a steam mop ever since i saw the first comercial for shark steam cleaners a couple of years ago but i kept thinking how my poor mother would spin in her grave at the thought of me spending this kind of money on a mop but since i have 3 dogs, 2 grandsons, 2 or more grown ups coming in and out of my front yard where we are trying to get grass seed to grow (thus we have lots of mud, or dry dirt that sticks to paws and shoes until it touches the floor) plus the fact that all of us seem to spill things on a regular basis my floors often need mopping. Actually i like mopping but no matter how hard i wrung out the mop my floors would be wet long enough for a dog or two to come in the doggie door and track paw prints on the wet floor, or more likely me wanting to get to the fridge or something before the floor got dry.  With Casey's fibromyalgia she doesn't need to be lifting heavy buckets of water, and mopping with a regular mop hurt her back, mine too, so i finally decided i was going to get a steam mop.  I LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!  You fill a little canister with distilled water...i'm guessing it holds 2-3 cups ...plug it in and give it about 30 seconds until the indicator light says it is hot and off you go.  It takes no time at all to mop and the floor is dry in about 20 seconds....really.  I read some comsumer reviews that said it left puddles of water but so far i have not seen that.  It has a cotton mop cloth that you throw in the washer.  It is far easier to mop with than a regular mop, takes way less time, and since it steams i feel like it is getting the floor really clean. You don't have to buy special products, except the recommended distilled water rather than tap. Around the toilet i sprayed a couple of squirts of vinegar to kill bacteria and then steamed that area, just because i have discovered the wonders of vinegar.   Best sticking your mop repeatedly in a bucket of water and wringing it out by hand.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Baked Zucchini Tomato Pie

Post # 51       I ran across this blog..."we are THAT family (dot) com" and saw this recipe (click on the link below).  I can hardly wait to have enough ripe tomatoes to try it.   Have any of you made this?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Monday, Monday

Post # 50            FLYlady has really encouraged me.  I love getting all her emails, I love her method of getting things done.  I love that she says quit thinking negative thoughts and quit thinking you have to do everything at once.  Today I totally, totally cleaned my bathroom. Since it had not been cleaned since I went to the hospital it really needed it.  I felt so good about myself and so pleased to see my beautiful bathroom back, and with her daily swish and swipe method I know I can keep it clean every day in about 2 minutes.   Go to if you are interested.  The bathroom was what I got accomplished earlier today.  After a nap I felt so good about getting something accomplished I tackled the fridge next.  It hadn't been cleaned since way before I went to the hospital.  The new rule is if you spill something in the fridge clean it up right then.  Getting those two things done just exhausted me.  When you have really severe depression exhaustion is not even a good enough term to describe how you feel.  It feels like someone has turned on the faucet and drained every bit of  strength or energy you ever had out of your body and replaced it with lead. And that is what you feel before you actually attempt to get something accomplished.  I was able to do more today than I have in a long time, but I tried to read another book and just couldn't stay focused enough to read.  I can't believe I have all this time available to read and I just can't.  I will be glad when I get over this bump in the road.  Meanwhile Casey and Brent got home from their trips safe and sound so really all is well in Carol's world.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Looking forward to the 5th

post # 49  And the neighborhood fireworks begin............I hate them.

Happy 4th!

Post # 48    I have been striving to keep my house picked up all my life.  Every year for as long as I can remember I have told the kids that all I want for my birthday is for every room in the house to look like a picture in a magazine.  I am slow as Moses, as my mother told me hourly all my life, and I can find lots of things to do besides clean house anyway.  Well, I do believe FLYlady is going to finally bring me peace!  I love her website, the little emails she sends encourage me and she says it's not gonna happen all in one 15 minutes at a time.  Her routine really works...and coming from me that is something.  If I can do it anyone can.  go to -- you don't have to buy anything just read her site and watch her little video messages.  I wish I lived next door to her but this is the next best thing.  I love her you live in CHAOS? (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome?) and FLY (Finally Love Yourself)  Years ago I saw FLYlady on every morning show, talk show, and i should have started way back then.  I think she is awesome, except for her put your shoes on first thing in the morning idea.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

One Day in June

Post # 47
What we did at Grandma and Aunt Casey's house......

Friday, July 2, 2010

Is this STILL Friday?

Post # 46    Regardless of how Travis looks in this photo in Carol's world things are not quite as scary as they have been.  Long day though.  Casey left early today on a camping trip and won't be back til Monday.  Brent left on a different camping trip and won't be back til Monday.  Mason and Travis were extra good for me today.  Since Casey left much earlier than the original plan I had to go to the grocery store, and drive, and watch my grandsons all by myself today....I can't even remember when I last drove or went to the grocery store by myself (but with my memory...).  I must be getting better because I used to gasp, tense up, sometimes do a little panic yell thing when cars approached from the side even when I wasn't driving but I did just fine driving today.  We had lunch at McDonald's then went to United and got the ingredients to make taco casserole for dinner.  It was sooo good.  Becky had dinner with us then she went to see a friend and Mason, Travis and I played Scrabble, watched The Wizard of Oz and Where the Wild Things Are.  Finally got them in bed but since it is their last night with me til who knows when we packed a lot of things in today and stayed up late watching movies.  I am exhausted.  Trey called and said he would "spend some time talking and sitting on the swing with me" tomorrow afternoon.  I am taking care of Brent's two dogs while he is gone so I will be driving several times a day...will just run over there 2 or 3 times a day and make sure they have food and water...they have a doggie door into his utility room in case it rains or they get too hot and a nice fenced yard.  He lives maybe a mile from me so I won't have to drive on I-40 or anything.  Becky will come over in the morning after the boys wake up and we will play games.  Mason and I got out the Dominoes, In a Pickle, Yahtzee and Uno and have them stacked on the table ready to play in the morning.  I have another incentive to continue getting well and to get a job.  I want a Chevy Volt...Chevy's electric car is finally in production.  If I can get back to work it will still be a couple of years before I can save up enough to make it feasible & it's a pipe dream probably (what does "pipe dream" mean?) but it is a good goal.  I was hoping for about 4 days of drizzle but we only got about 3 minutes of very light sprinkles...all when we were getting groceries out of the car and into the house, but it felt good.  5 of my prescriptions need to be refilled Tuesday.  I am wondering do I really need the two that are $50 a piece?

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Post # 45     What a nice surprise!  Alesia from HR emailed me that "The City of Amarillo has a small personalized token of thanks for you" so Casey went and picked it up for me.  It wasn't a "small token" to me! It was absolutely wonderful! A Seiko chiming mantle clock!  I have always wanted a mantle clock, even before I had a mantle I wanted one!  It matches Christ's picture frame really well.  I love it and this was such a wonderful surprise.  Thank you, Alesia, for letting me know the City had this gift for me. 


Post # 44   My grandsons go back to their dad's on Sunday so since they will miss their Aunt Casey's birthday in July we had a surprise party tonight. Casey is going camping Friday for the weekend and the boys will be with their Mom Saturday so tonight was the last time both my daughters and grandsons could be together.  I will have the boys all day Friday and then they are spending the night.  Travis picked out the cake at Walmart and Mason, Travis and I found girl-y things for her, like 4 different colors of nail polish.  When Becky got off work we had beans and cornbread, cake and then we played Scrabble.   In the photo below Max Schnauzer was obviously ready for his piece of cake.


Post # 43       We ARE in a cold spell!  Tomorrow will be in the mid 80's again and there is a chance for rain all weekend. RAIN!  I hope it drizzles for several days straight.   As my daughter left tonight she said 1st thing in the morning she would come mow so I decided since it was very nice out around 9 pm, 72 I think it was,  I would get out the mower and do it myself, so I did..  I love my lawn mower.  My fescue is not doing so well.  The series of 90-100 degree days just about did it in, plus 3 dogs wetting on it.  I am hoping about September when it stays in the 70's and 80's the grass will recover.  When I checked the garden tonight...I hadn't been out there in several days...I was pleased to see little baby squash growing on one plant, a couple of tiny bell peppers, 4 yellow peppers, and a tiny eggplant growing.  This morning my grandsons picked strawberries...maybe 8.  My bean vines are still just about 4 inches tall...they are just sitting there.  My tomatoes are doing well.  The okra and canteloupe are still alive but not growing.  I don't know why. I tried square foot gardening this year but I didn't spend the money on what is referred to as Mel's Mix...1/3 vermiculite, 1/3 peat moss and 1/3 compost from 5 different sources (such as cow, rabbit, chicken, horse, goat, worm, or even cow manure from 5 different companies...not dog or cat).  I just bought bags of raised bed garden mix and added lots of coffee grounds from Starbucks, and some Miracle Grow.  I am going to try it again next year but go with that formula, added to what I already have and the compost I am making.  I got a real late start since I was in the hospital in late April and then the whole months of May and June I have pretty much vegetated instead of making more boxes so I could plant more. My son gave me cattle panels and I intended to grow watermelon, beans, peas and canteloupe on them but he hasn't brought the t-posts to me so we never got them up...but I am going to get them someday and Casey and I will build the arches for next year.  My flowerbeds don't look like I wanted them to...I just did not have a green thumb this year but I plan on next year being better.  My plan was to have a lush garden, gorgeous flowerbeds and a fenced lined with roses.  Well, so much for that.  We have bermuda grass in the front does anyone have a flowerbed and keep the bermuda out?

      Anybody who knows me knows if there is a choice between reading a book and cleaning the house, well cleaning can wait. Actually, if there is a choice between cleaning and anything else I usually pick "anything else." tomorrow is my actual 1st day of retirement...even tho I have not been to work in 2 months.... so I think it is time to change my ways.  I am enlisting the help of  I have been to her site half a dozen times in the past, saw her on a morning show several years ago, recently checked out her website again and decided I am going to give her method a shot, except for that put your shoes on first thing in the morning thing.  I'll let you know how that works out for me.  July is going to be the month I feel better and get lots done.  My meds will have had the opportunity to really get in my system and do what they are suppose to do.  I plan on being a new woman.
   I think the dryer stopped so I am going to put clean sheets on the bed and get in it.  I have my grandsons for 2 more days and then they go back to their dad's. I plan to have fun the next two days playing game after game after game.  We have Scrabble, Yahtzee, Uno, Phase 10, In a Pickle, dominoes, Monopoly and Mason wants to teach me how to play Spades.