Saturday, March 10, 2012

Like I Said, I Amuse Myself

"Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused."

Author: Unknown
Since the last Morton's Neuroma flare-up I haven't taken anything for pain, like Tylenol.  After my major panic attack, mini mental crash the other day I have had a headache though and have thought about taking something.  Anytime my brain thinks "Tylenol" I think of the old days at the library.  There was a time when the library administration secretary kept "single serving" packets of pain medication in the office supply closet.  After I typed that I thought "dosage" would be more appropriate but I like single serving better.  Anyway (and any time I type "anyway" in my brain I hear Ellen's voice as she says that at the end of her show's credits) ... have I lost you yet??? Anyway, library employees used to be able to go to the admin secretary and get some kind of pain medication (and anyone working with the public on a regular basis has need for pain meds).  She stocked three kinds, Excedrin, Tylenol, and a combo pain reliever called Pain-Ease.  If you had a major big headache or cramps of some sort go for the big guns and start with Pain-Ease we used to say.  Well, I worked with a young woman, probably 18 years my junior, at one point.  I was about 38 at the time, making her most likely 20.  Mothering is what I do so I often "mothered" her.  This one day she had a headache, cramps, Aunt Flo was visiting and she just felt crummy so I said you need some Tylenol ... you sit down and I will go over to the office and get some for you.  She said no, get Pain-Ease instead.  OK.  I trot off to the office.  Before I get there let me tell you a bit about me .... I am clueless in many ways, I am naive, I speak with a funny combination ---- I sometimes talk really fast but people tell me I have a southern drawl, as in I really pronounce my vowels.  I'm guessing when I say Pain-Ease it sounded something more like Payyyn-Eeese, except sorta fast too.  Well, I get to the admin office and the supply closet door is locked.  It was lunch time and the secretary always locked up when she left her office for lunch.  OK, fine, the receptionist or Adult Services Coordinator in the ajoining office also had a key and so I looked for them.  No other woman was around.  I prefer to deal with women.  Men used to terrify me.  Oh, I should also insert that at that time of my life male authority figures really intimidated me.  Ok, back to my story.  Couldn't find a woman to ask but the assistant library director (a man, who sat in on my evaluations, who was my boss's boss) was watching the office reception area from the open door of his office.  He asked if he could help me and I said no I will just come back when the secretary is here.  He said something like well I would be happy to help you, what did you need from the supply closet? Obviously he heard me try to open the door. (Picture me sort of stuttering and intimidated by this -just-under-the-big-boss-in-authority male)   "OK, well, I was looking for some Pain-Ease."  He looks at me with a really weird look on his face, followed by a moment of silence, and then he says "Uh, Carol, I don't think we have any in the supply closet."  (me) "Oh, I've always been able to get some." (him) silence .... slowy says "well, I don't know where they would be" (me --- thinking what is wrong with him, duh, they have always been right there on the shelf at eye level) so I say "you know, right next to the Tylenol."  He says "ohkayyy", and gets up, goes to the supply closet, sort of not looking at me and unlocks the door.  He steps in the big walk in closet, looks at the shelves and I point and say "see, Pain-Ease, right there."  He picks up a packet, sighs a big light-bulb-going-off sigh, gets beet red in the face and says "OOHHH, okay. Here you go."  I thanked him and got the heck outa Dodge!  As I walked back to my department I was going over that scene in my mind wondering why in the heck he was acting so weird when I just asked for some Pain-Ease and why would that make him get red???  And then it dawned on me ..... he must have been hearing me say I need some panties.  20 years later and any time I think of any kind of pain reliever, or think of panties, I relive that sensation of wishing the floor would open up and swallow me, as well as often laugh at myself til tears run down ... my face, silly.   :)


1 comment:

~It's Just Me~ said...

ROFLOL!! It hurts but I needed that laugh today! That poor guy! He will never question anyone wanting to get somethign from the supply closet again. HAHAHAHA!!!